I've met my match

She is 2 and her name is Mallory.
I still think in the grand scheme of things she isn't as "crazy 2 year old" as many, but she is stubborn and strong willed.



I'm having flashbacks to the stories mom tells me of some of my and dad's epic standoffs for the same reasons.  We are both very stubborn and strong willed.

The one story that comes to mind also occured when I was 2.  I didn't feel it was necessary to go to bed and of course, dad knew it was necessary for me to go to bed.  2 stubborn people (even at 2) with 2 very different ideas.  Apparenlty the arguing went on for quite a while and I really look back on it now and think of dad at like 29 and me at 2 having this all out argument at like 10 pm and I have to laugh.

Dad would put me in bed and I'd pop right back up and say I'm not going to bed.  Dad was say yes you are and put me back in bed and on and on it went.  It seems like I even recall a threat to take me to the hospital, lol, not sure what that was going to do, but you know, it didn't work.

Mom said she was in bed almost in tears wanting one of us to give in.  Dad and I can stand our ground for a very long time : )

I don't recall how it ended but I'm sure I eventually went to sleep and then later I had a night shirt that said "I don't want to go to bed" on it, how appropriate!

So, you can see she gets it honestly.  Wonder if those stubborn genes are connected to the "who I look like" genes since me, dad and Mallory also are the ones who look most alike.

Ben is also stubborn and strong willed, so she gets a double dose of that added in with his "unable to sit still must be into something" and well, there are nights I have several glasses of wine!

I'm trying to figure out how to best help her realize right from wrong and then to not do the things we have established as "wrong."  So far the typical stuff isn't working.

We do time outs and if she deliberatly pours something on the floor I make her help clean it up most of the time, but it doesn't phase her, she will just do it again.

In griping to my preemie mom friends about her antics, they've recommended me the book Love and Logic for 0-6 year olds.  Basically how to handle strong willed children.  They say it works and it arrives from Amazon on Friday.  It has great reviews, so lets hope it gives me some new ideas.



I'm guessing shoving her nose in what she did wrong and spanking her like when we potty trained Tucker isn't looked highly upon in the parenting world.  Just kidding!

I also found this article, Parenting your Strong Willed Child, on Pinterest, which is good as well.  I better print it out and keep it on the fridge for reference!

I really wouldn't want her any other way than stubborn and strong willed, so I'm hoping we can find some happy medium so each give a little and everyone can just be a little less stressed about it all!

I've determined after we get back from the beach we are going to work more on potty training.  She seems to really like peeing on the carpet (thankfully the dog pee clean up stuff, which we never use for Tucker, work good on kiddo pee too) we are going to see if we can harness that excitement for peeing in her potty.  A new sticker on the potty everytime she goes!  Elmo stickers at that!

In other Mallory antics this week, she has become, how shall we say, interested in exploring?  Tiffany sent me a text earlier this week saying that she bacically copped a feel of Bentley's privates as she was changing him on the couch.  Mallory walked over, gave it a little squeeze and then walked on.  Oh my.  Fun times around here!

Since I'm not doing a very good job in getting these posts up in a timely fashion, here's an update to the "Love and Logic."
I finished the book on Sunday with plans to start implementing on Monday.  Ben flew to Racine for the week early Monday morning and I had him pack it with him so he could read as much as possible on his flight so we could be on the same "parenting" page when he got back on Friday.

2 days into it and so far it's been a better 2 days.  Better in that I'm not frazzled and seeking a glass of wine. 

The main focus in this book is to not raise your voice, not bark orders, and show empathy.  You also work with them, at this age, to let them make as many choices as you can, it empowers their self worth and by letting them make all kinds of choices throughout the day on stuff that you really don't care about which they chose, then when you need to be the one to make a choice you basically have barganing power because you've been letting them make choices all day.

So our mornings go a little something like this now.

• Do you want a banana or canteloup with breakfast


• which of these 2 cups do you want for the day


• do you want milk or water


• do you want an egg or sausage


• which of these 2 outfits do you want to wear


• which of these 2 pair of shoes do you want to wear


• which of these 2 toothbrushes do you want to use


• which of these 2 tubes of kiddie toothpaste do you want

Stuff that I could care less which she choses, but it's the fact that SHE is getting to choose that she likes, and it actually makes her happier, thus we have less stuggles and melt downs.

You also have an "empathy phrase" for when they do something wrong.  So you aren't shouting no, no, and spanking their rear or whatever knee jerk reaction may come out, you have a practiced phrase that you state in a very calm manner and then say "time for some quiet time in your bedroom."

So last night when she dumped the dog food on the floor, it went a little something like this:

"Oh no, that's so sad.  We don't dump dog food on the floor.  Time for some quiet time in your room"  And I picked her up and put her in her room and shut the door.

There was screaming, crying, temper flairing, but you just let them get it all out and when they calm down simply open the door, say "mommy loves you" and leave it at that.

We then went back out to pick up the dog food, which she then proceeded to throw a handfull across the porch again, so the exact same thing stated above happened, more quiet time in her room (not as long this time) and then on the 3rd attempt, she every so nicely helped me pick up the rest of the dog food and we took it to Tucker's bowl.

As they get older there's added things you do and say for their questioning or misbehaving, but at 2, giving them choices and having your empathy statement and actions ready is really what's key.

We will see how the rest of the week pans out but so far I'm liking what I see!!

Mallory's first Dance class was on Monday.  I was really hoping for gynastics (as much as she likes to run around) but I didn't think they had 2 year old gymnastics, but I was wrong they did.
She knew her Dance teacher, so I left her there and went to wait out front.  When I went back in closer to 5 for class to be over, they said they determined pretty quickly that she would be better in gymnastics (which that 2 year old class goes on at the same time) and moved her over there after about 10 minutes!  Not really surprising to me.  She looked like she was having a ball in gymnastics although her teacher that she was dragging around looked a bit frazzled!  So now we have a gymnast instead of a dancer, lol!

Lola's First Birthday!

We had a nice low key weekend this weekend.  A much needed low key weekend.  I'd be totally happy if they were all low key!

Ben had spent a large chunk of the week traveling putting on combine clinics at various Case dealers so Mallory, Tucker and I had a pretty normal week at home.

Friday night I had Bunco, Ben played golf with Nick and Aunt Sharon watched Mallory for us.
Saturday morning was my now typical 8:30 am Hot Yoga class.  Love that class!

Mallory and I met Susan at the pool where we spent the next 4 hours and Ben played some golf and took a golf lesson.

We then got ready to go to Lola's first birthday party!! 

For those who don't know Lola, she's the daughter of the friend that watches Mallory every day.  They are little best friends : )

Lola was looking crazy cute in her onsie that Susan actually made for her special day!












Mallory didn't take to well to Lola opening all the presents and she not being able to touch them.  I was like just wait till Monday and you can play with them all too!  She really didn't like that response.....hissy fit insued. 



After the birthday party we met Greg and went and I watched as they had a few drinks, although I needed one too after the meltdown at the party, but it was still destressing, so I was ok.

So far Sunday has been full of cleaning.  It's cloudy and looks like rain so I don't know that we will get to the pool.  Bean's napping early so we will see how later this
afternoon pans out.

The joys of toddler traveling.....

Like most trips we've been on lately, the words "we are never taking her anywhere again" were uttered several times.

Obviously we are taking her on an 11 hour car ride to the beach in a month, so that's not entirely true, but I do not see any more major league, or any baseball games, sporting events, etc in her future for a while.  At least until she's 4.  Museums, unless specifically kid oriented, probably not on the list for a while either.

We spent this weekend in St. Louis and met up with our friends Danielle and Chris from Wisconsin and their daughter Abby who is all of about 1.5 months younger than Mallory.

We've been dying to get them together, and although they got along fine, they really didn't "play" together, but I don't know that we really had time to play anyway.  When Abby was being good Mallory was having a melt down and when Mallory was good Abby was having a meltdown.  That's pretty much how the whole weekend went, lol.

On the way up to St. Louis on Friday, it just so happened that the Red Power Roundup was going on ON THE WAY to St Louis from Elkton.  How did we get so lucky in planning that out just so???

We left way to early Friday morning to head up to around Carbondale, IL to Duquoin, IL where the festivities were to be held.  They had a nice fair grounds for BFE Illinois.

The short of it:

• It was Hot
• We met Ben's parents there
• There were a lot of Tractors
• Mallory's behavior was fair to good
• She really liked dancing to the music
• We got to meet the guy who writes and illustrates the Tractor Mac books and got autographs and new books
• It was hot
• There were tons of tractors
• None of it was very exciting to me, but Ben and his Dad really enjoy it, so we cope : )
• Ben and I were both on the phone for work more than we would have liked
• And, it was hot.
• Oh, and we saw some of our cousins from Frohna, MO there too.

Here's some of the pictures from the Red Power Roundup:

We left there mid afternoon or so and headed to St Louis to our downtown hotel.  Traffic was no problem until the last 3 miles to the hotel where it was then really annoying.

We got checked in and settled and decided we wanted pizza so we walked to a place called Pi for some really good gourmet pizza.  Ben got meat and all the stuff he likes and I got all the healthier and weird pizza toppings I like.  And Bean liked it both!

Pi was a hit and we walked back to the hotel, gave Bean a bath and we all fell asleep at like 8:45 because we were so tired from the heat and getting up so early.  Yep, we really know how to live it up in St Louis on a Friday night : )

Saturday am we met up with Chris, Danielle and Abby at Grant's Farm.  I'd never been there and Ben and Dani had been but a long time ago.  It was nice, got a "train" ride, saw some animals, got FREE beer (best part bar none) and the kids got to feed the goats which was totally hilarious.  Mallory I'm pretty sure just thought they were some kind of dog and just kept trying to hug them like she does mom's dog!

 Feeding the goats, $1 for a bottle, those were some fat goats!

 Hugging it like it's Katie the dog

 They had a free animal show and Mallory loved the birds, squealed at the top of her lungs

 We were right in the flight path for the birds of prey when they let them fly, Mallory ducked and then squealed again!

 Free Beer!

 Our $5 purchase, Ruby the stuffed Snake....Mallory keeps saying SSSSSSSS.  I found it rather hilarious that she would wear her snake like a boa.....

 Big horses!

After Grant's Farm we headed back to the hotel for an afternoon of napping before heading over to the game at 5 since it started at 6:15.  Mallory fell asleep on the ride to the hotel but then proceeded to never fall asleep again.  Mommy did, Daddy did but Mallory did not.  She got several hours of "rest" but no sleep.  That was the precursor to the rest of the night : )

We had great seats, got to meet Red Bird the mascot, and of course Mallory still loved him, you know, with her odd attraction to huge stuffed animal/mascots.  Remember the Chick-Fil-a Cow incident?  

The game was pretty slow until around the 6th and 7th inning, and for the most part the kiddos were pretty good till then.  Some little attitudes here and there, but nothing major.  

Then, in perfect timing, just as the game was getting good, meltdown in sued and she and I headed out for a little walk.  So we missed the 12 runs the Cardinals got in the 7th inning (a record breaking inning by the way) because someone was hot, tired, cranky, and just generally unhappy.  

Which it is a lot to expect a 2 year old to sit through a baseball game, but we were going to try.  So it wasn't looking to get any better, her attitude not the game, so we left at the 8th inning.  

Here's som pictures of the good times at the game:

 Walking to the Stadium

 Yay, we got to meet Red Bird before the game

 Abby and Mallory in their shared seat at the game

I will be good, I promise!

Back to the hotel we went.  I needed a margarita after all that, lol!  And of course the "we will never take you anywhere" was muttered a few times, but always knowing that we say it for lack of anything else to say about toddler meltdowns and hissy fits.

Sunday morning we met for breakfast and then walked down to the arch just to look around again.  Nothing exciting, just going to be another hot day!

Then we headed home and I was really glad to just be home at a decent hour!!  

So, for the next month we will not be taking Mallory anywhere, but the beach will be a different story in itself.  Heaven help us on that 11 hour drive!

Happy Birthday Ben!!!

Today is Ben's birthday!!

Unfortunatley he's in Memphis learning about sprayers, but he's getting to eat tons of bbq, which makes me happy.  Why, because I don't have to eat it with him, lol!

I'm sure I'll get suckered into eating at one of the bbq joints when we go to Memphis again in December so I can run my 2nd Half Marathon : )

Speaking of.....I have to raise $500 to participate, but of course it's for a great cause, St. Jude's Children's Hospital.  I've got 20 Weeks of Training, so I need $25 a week in donations to get to $500, so who wants to cover my first week??
  Please : ) 

Click here to donate!! 
http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR?px=2013397&fr_id=3631&pg=personal
Here's the picture we sent to Ben this morning as his HAPPY BIRTHDAY picture.  She looks a lot better fresh out of bed than I do in the morning!  Note I'm NOT in the picture : )



We had an off and on rainy Saturday which derailed us from spending any time at the pool but Ben did go play golf with a buddy in Russellville since there was a couples tournament at the Country Club this weekend. 

That gave me and Bean, and I say that like she really helps, more time to further work on cleaning up and out some areas of the house.  We made decent progress, which lasts for all of about 2 hours : )

Oh well.  Here's a few other shots of her bed the way we have it set up now. 





She's getting better about falling asleep in it without us laying down with her.

I also found on Facebook last week a Step 2 Artist Desk and Easel for sale.  I got them both for $35 totaly!  You can't even buy the easel new for that price and the desk is like $100, so I was thrilled. 



We got that all set up and moved her crayons and coloring books and paper in there and then I got her some water color paint and washable markers this weekend. 

She LOVES it!!  And I love a great deal.  It had some marks and stuff on it but Bean is 2, she's going to color on it, so who cares!






We did get to the pool on Sunday as Ben left to head for Memphis. 



Another hot week here, but at least not in the 100's.
Be sure to tell Ben Happy Birthday today!!!

Bean loves the Lobsters at Red Lobster!!